Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Kindergarten blues
We got a notice in the mail today informing us of who Hannah's kindergarten teacher will be and what time her bus will pick her up and drop her off. I'm so nervous for her!!! I'm so afraid that I've sheltered her too much and haven't taught her enough. I can't believe she will be away from me for the better part of the day for most of the week. She is so clingy and dependent on me that I really am afraid she is going to have a hard time. She also has no qualms about breaking down into a crying fit, and I can just hear those mean boys calling her a baby. I certainly won't mind her growing out of that really fast, but I hate to think of someone being mean to my little girl. And the bus is a whole issue all on its own that has me scared spitless. If I let her take the bus, she will only have a 10-minute ride, so I suppose I shouldn't be so worried about it. I just don't like to think of a busload of kids practically unchaperoned because the busdriver is only one person and should be focused on driving. Or if the driver is focused on the havoc the children are raising, then she isn't watching the road well enough and my child is in danger of a car accident. I rode the bus when I was in kindergarten, but I had an older brother and sister with me. I would have been terrified if I was by myself. Can I really let Hannah go to school on her own? I feel like I have done such a poor job in preparing her for this new stage of her life. I can only hope that she is more ready for this than I am. I guess we'll see in two weeks...
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2 comments:
man, we are on the same boat, or in it...or something. i'm devastated. elise got her information a couple of days ago telling us her staggered enrollment date. so she'll go one day and then have a few days break and then start again for real. i think elise is ready academically and all that other stuff, but she's never really been away from me for preschool or anything. i don't know if she realizes how long a day is. and how will we make it all day without her? she's such a big help and a calming influence. and i think about the same thing...i know people will be mean to her at some point. stuff like that just happens at school. and it tears me up. i just want to protect her from it. i wonder if i've taught her (spiritually) everything she'll need to face the world around her. elise isn't riding the bus, although the schools encourage it b/c it cuts down on traffic. i'm sure hannah will be fine with it. that will probably help her be excited about school. elise would love to ride the bus. =)
i feel like there's so much more i could have done, so much more i ought to have done. i'm having total separation anxiety in the worst way. its gut wrenching. who knew being a parent would be so hard?
I know what you mean about missing Elise's influence during the day. I'm enrolling Nikki in preschool because I can already tell she is going to be a lost little puppy without Hannah around. She was already crying this morning saying she wanted to go to school with Hannah. But that brings another issue for me -- I won't have any kids at home for a few hours of three days a week. I am excited about that, but then again the closer it gets I just don't know. You're right, I didn't know having them leave would be so hard.
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