Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Woman's Week at the Gym

Eileen emailed this to me a few weeks ago, and it was funny then. It's starting to hit a little too close to home now. I'm not so afraid to talk back to B-Ray anymore. He had me on one machine today where the thought running through my mind was that the last time I felt like this was having a baby.

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. ________________________________

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

________________________________

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

_______________________________

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other garbage too. _______________________________

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

_______________________________

FRIDAY:

I hate that witch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn bar bells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich..

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

________________________________

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

________________________________

SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little snit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Track out, Day 1

  • gym
  • library
  • grocery shopping (since Nate is eating like Billy Lewis now =})
  • plant some flowers & a couple of vegetables in our yard
We'll just have to see how much time is left over for blogging the next couple of weeks. I really like letting the girls sleep in, even if Ryan wants no part of that.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Crochet away the calories

What do calories and crocheting have to do with each other? Well, since Nate is on a campout tonight maybe I'll skip the dishes and ramble about it a bit. Over the Christmas holidays Nate and I decided we were going to start working out together in the mornings. We were using the Body for Life exercise plan with our own elliptical machine, weight bench, and dumbbells in our living room. I have seen some results, but after more than 3 months I should see more than I have. And I had made a goal to be in good enough shape to actually enjoy clothes shopping by June. Plus, I have just started an independent study P.E. class from BYU. So, if I want to get some new clothes, and if I want to pass my class (a lot of the grade is just whether or not I complete a 10-week exercise routine), we decided to check out gyms in our area. We toured several of them, and we found one that we like that has a great kids area and it was even the best price of all of them that we checked out. Since neither of us have ever really worked out consistently, we decided that we would take advantage of the personal training sessions offered to new members. My personal trainer is B-Ray. He is huge. He played football for ECU and NC State, and his hands are bigger than my feet. He's going to kill me. Now I know why I haven't seen many results from my workouts. I never would have believed I could do what he has made me do this past week if he didn't tell me to do it. And believe me, I'm not talking back to him!

But the kicker came today when he sat down at the computer and figured out what my caloric intake should be everyday. About 1500 - 1800 calories. The 1800 is if I'm having a serious workout that day. What?! That's even with me nursing Ryan. He printed off a sample menu for one day. Breakfast: Orange juice, pineapple chunks, and cottage cheese. Oh man. Nate, on the other hand is the complete opposite of me. He's trying to build muscle and put on a few pounds, so his caloric intake everyday should be 3200. I don't care if I am half his size. I still get hungry! His menu plan looks awesome. Last night he was saying he was so full. That's not what I'm saying tonight.

So, what does that have to do with crocheting? Last night we had a crochet class at Relief Society. That's actually on my list of things I want to learn to do sometime in my life, so I was excited about it. I'm starting with a pot holder, and it has some issues, but I know I'll get better. Today, when the girls got home from school they got a snack as usual, but instead of me chomping on graham crackers with them, I busied my hands with my crochet hook and yarn. Aha! See, I don't always eat because I'm hungry. A lot of the time it's just that eating is what there is for me to do at that moment. So, I can keep my hands out of the refridgerator by crocheting! I'm really excited about it. And if you get a few lopsided potholders for Christmas from me this year then you'll know that I've stuck to my plan.

Powdered Milk?

I'm a little hesitant to blog about this because I don't want to come across as being over the top crazy. Yes, I've been experimenting with using my food storage -- I don't think that's too crazy, but who in their right mind would actually make powdered milk to drink when there has been no hurricane and there is plenty of yummy milk to be purchased from the store? Well, I read that it really could be yummy, so I thought I would try it out. Worst case scenario I could just use it in my cooking. Well, for the past two days Nikki has been asking for the "marshmallow milk." I have to admit it -- I like it. That said, you have to go into it expecting skim milk, not 2% or whole milk. I don't know if I would like it if I drank 4 glasses of milk a day like Alli. :)

So, to make a gallon of the dreaded-but-it-really-is-pretty-good milk, the instructions I read said to pour in half of the water (2 quarts) and 3 cups of powdered milk (not instant powdered milk because the two are different -- the church cannery doesn't sell instant). Mix it up with a wire whisk, and then comes the trick. Add a teaspoon of vanilla and a teaspoon of sugar, then pour in the rest of the water. Voila! Marshmallow milk, as Nikki calls it. Maybe I put in too much sugar, but I'm not reducing it!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter



It has been a beautiful Easter weekend for me. I was asked to speak in church today, and that really helped me to stay focused on why we celebrate Easter. I can't say it better than Elder Holland, but I do know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. Because of Him, there is joy in my life and there will be joy in the life to come.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I can't keep up with my keys!

I don't really think of myself as an airhead, but my actions prove me wrong a little more often than I would like. I had to run to the mall this morning, and as I was leaving I dropped my keys in the trunk as I put the stroller away. Great. So, I had to unbuckle Ryan and carry him back into the mall -- no stroller this time because it's locked in the trunk with my keys. I was initially going to call Nate to pick me up and come grab the extra keys from home, but then I thought about asking if security would unlock it for me. The last time I had a run-in with a locksmith it cost $75, so I was excited when he told me they could do it and there was no fee. I walked all the way back to my car, and the security guy came and started to try to unlock the driver side door. I told him the doors were open, my keys were just stuck in the trunk. He looked at me and said, "Oh, you don't have one of those levers to pop your trunk open?" ................... Oh no. I can't believe I just called security when I could have popped my trunk open myself!! We both had a good laugh, and I opened my trunk, and buckled Ryan back in the car, and drove away feeling oh so sheepish. Thank goodness I didn't have Nate drive all the way from work to come get me!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Go Heels!


That was a basketball game my Grandma White would have loved. She didn't like to watch a really close game because it was too tense. And Grandma Bass would have loved it because she loved Carolina basketball. So, I enjoyed it for the both of them, even though I fell asleep. :) Way to go, Heels! National Champs!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Recommitted

So I had to delete my last post. I was whining, and I'm going to do a better job being of good cheer. When I'm tempted to groan I'm going to try to follow the counsel to laugh instead. I love General Conference and I can't wait to watch and listen and read the talks again. I'm supposed to be speaking in church next Sunday, which of course is Easter, and I thought that all I have to do is just print off a copy of Elder Holland's talk today and pass it out and sit down, and everyone will be very edified. Okay, so I guess I'll have to do a little more than that. But, I really enjoyed conference, and I thought overall the kids did a pretty good job handling 8 hours of church in one weekend. I'm so grateful to have conference every six months to get the rejuvenation and recommitment I need to keep going for the next six months.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

My newest helper

Ryan and I have been working together to babyproof the house. We've already added plastic covers to all of the electrical outlets and taken all the white caps off the end of the doorstops. He's helping me to remember to vaccuum much more frequently than I had been. Today he showed me that my piano music is completely unorganized and in a much too accessible spot on the floor. We need to slide the TV over about 6 inches because the cords are sticking out in the back. Thanks for discovering that one, Ryan -- how unsightly. And I have never seen anyone so offended to be told they couldn't read the dictionary. He was quite upset when I put that back on the bottom shelf. I only wish we could have a foam-covered kitchen floor and fireplace hearth. His poor little head is going to have permanent dents because he needs a little work on his crawling technique. It's kind of a sit-hop-scoot mix that's not very stable. I'd post a video if I could. Lots of hard work has been accomplished by this little one!
This morning Ryan was on the floor in the living room while Nate was working out. Nate came into the kitchen and said Ryan just threw up all over the floor. Ah, yuck, that was going to be so gross to clean up. Then he laughed and said, "April fools!" What?! He got me! That was a good one, Nate -- very believable. I don't think he's ever gotten me before.

My camera won't connect to the computer to transfer our pictures. I feel like I'm back in the days where I had to wait for the chance to take the film in and then wait to have it developed and then wait for the chance to go back to get it. I don't like having to wait to get my pictures! If I could, I would post pictures of:
  • food -- I've made beautiful bread, my first lemon meringue pie, my first whirl with homemade fondant on a bunny cake
  • a video of Ryan squealing, our own little piglet
  • haircuts for both Hannah and Nikki
  • St. Patrick's Day, the leprechauns were too busy (or maybe just forgot) to come overnight, so they left some treats while I was picking the girls up from school that day. Then I made green spaghetti noodles for supper that night.
Without pictures I feel like I have nothing to blog about. Here's what's on my to-do list today:
  • check to see what food needs to be rotated in our 72-hour kits
  • help the Easter bunny with his plans
  • pick up Hannah & Ryan's pictures (I was supposed to pick them up two weeks ago)
  • get the camera fixed!!
  • study for my final
  • and I'll probably have to pick Hannah up from school since I sent her when she was sick. She wasn't sick enough to stay home, but she was complaining enough for a trip to the hospital.
I better go get at least something on my list done.