Monday, April 30, 2012

Sixteen

Today is April 30th. It was sixteen years ago today that Mom, Dad, and Granddaddy White died. I actually remember that morning looking very similar to this morning -- it was overcast and then began a light rain in the early afternoon. I was sixteen years old. Can it really be possible that they have been gone now for as long as I knew them?

April 30th is usually a beautiful day for me. On April 30, one year after the accident, our family was sealed in the temple. That turned my focus from a terrible loss to the hope of a bright future. I still feel that hope. Today it would just be nice to talk to my mom. There is a lot I would like to say to her. I would really just like to listen to her, have her hug me. I was thinking of her on Sunday in Sacrament meeting as I sitting next to Hannah singing the alto part to one of the hymns. I wondered if one day Hannah will think of me the way I think of Mom each time I sing a hymn in church.

I really enjoyed Elder Scott's talk in General Conference last month. I thought this part was great where he quoted President Joseph F. Smith: “I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them. … We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors … who have preceded us into the spirit world. We can not forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we can not break. … If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, … how much more certain it is … to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond … can see us better than we can see them; that they know us better than we know them. … We live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; … their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves.”

7 comments:

Erin said...

I loved that quote too. I remember my grandmothers presence in my life after she passed. It seemed like every once in a while, she was just really close to me, letting me know she loved me. It is such a blessing to have this knowledge.

julie said...

Think of you today. Love you.

julie said...

or thinking. Some people can type and other are just like me. I still love you though!

Kellee said...

I don't remember that quote. I must have been distracted :) That was beautiful.

I sing alto too and think of mom singing alto every hymn as well :) Karoline sings alto with me and I love it.

Love you!

Kristen said...

I love your thoughts about this. You know I loved Elder Scott's talk, too.

I wonder how the separation is for our loved ones. Sometimes I feel them close, sometimes I just feel at peace about it and sometimes I feel sadness at the physical things (like hugs) that I miss. I wonder if they feel it as keenly as we do, or I wonder if they perhaps are more aware of us than we are of them and that maybe the separation is somewhat lessened. I don't really have an answer, just thoughts I've pondered.

Mainly I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you! :)

Kim said...

I always think of her, too, singing alto. Soprano is still too high for me! That talk was amazing. It's nice to know they aren't far away.

Brigette Little said...

Beautiful. Love you!