Babywise

My friend Amy asked how I got Ryan to sleep so well, and this is my secret. I didn't get him drunk. :) I've been thinking about writing about this anyway. I hadn't heard of this book when I had Hannah, and I think I will feel guilty until the day I die about the awful job I did nursing her. By the time she was two months old she had only gained a pound and a little bit over her birth weight. I might cry just thinking about it. I had no idea how to take care of her, and I didn't ask anyone for help. I had read some breastfeeding books and the material you get from the hospital and pediatrician, but all of that was based on demand-feeding principles and I knew I didn't want to do that. But then I didn't know what to do.

The thing I like so much about this book is that it's not extreme. It's doesn't advise demand feeding or going strictly by the clock. It's a middle of the road approach focused on having a predictable schedule but allowing for flexibility when needed. To me, the fact that this encourages good nighttime sleep is just a bonus. I really needed it just to understand when and how much an infant needs to eat.

I think one of the hardest parts of parenting is being consistent. During the first year of life, babies are learning whether they can trust you to meet their needs. I always worried that if sometimes I picked them up right when they cried but sometimes I just let them cry it out to sleep, then I wasn't being consistent and would be causing emotional trauma to my poor baby. Now I think I was just causing myself the trauma. With a predictable schedule I can generally know that he's not hungry right now, so in order to meet his needs in the best way he needs to cry himself to sleep. Or, I can tell that he's probably hungry and I don't mind feeding him even if it's not exactly when I predicted he would eat again. That's a huge difference in my mindset from Hannah. I wouldn't believe she could be hungry yet and would get so frustrated that nothing else would settle her down but nursing. Oh, I can't even talk about her without getting upset with myself.

So, Nate and I can't decide if Ryan is just a really good baby, or if we just have relaxed and learned a lot since our girls were babies. It's probably both. I read this book before I had Nikki, and it helped tons, but I think I have been even better at applying the principles this time around. I highly recommend this one.