Field Trip to the Farm

Nikki's preschool took a field trip to a farm today. We went last year, and Nikki was excited to go again. This is Sweet Anne. She's getting to be a pretty old donkey, so she couldn't give the kids a ride like she did last year. They all got to get up on her for a photo shoot, though. They could also feed the animals carrots and apples. I didn't have any in the fridge, and I didn't get to the store like I had planned to yesterday, so I didn't have to worry about Nikki getting her fingers bitten off.

An ostrich (or whatever this huge thing was) on a farm in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina? How about that.

I think the kitten was Nikki's favorite. She especially liked it when everyone else cleared out for a litttle bit and she got to play with her all on her own.

The pond was really low. Mr. Hinnant, the owner, said he has never seen it get this low before. We could use a lot of rain around here. There are no birds in this picture, but there are ducks and geese and turkeys all around that we got to throw some bread to.

All in all, a fun trip.

Morning dispositions

This morning was pretty typical around our house. I woke Hannah up to get ready for school, and within about two minutes of getting out of bed she was her cheerful little self. As she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth and hair I could hear her humming. While at first it made me cringe a little bit because I didn't want her to wake up Nikki, I decided it was more important to just let her be happy rather than harp on her for singing in the morning. She really is a great example to me in the mornings, and it always makes me feel better when I see her so happy.

Then, Nikki actually slept in this morning and didn't get up until about 10 minutes after Hannah had gotten on the bus. She came stumbling out of her room carrying her blanket trying to walk with her eyes open only wide enough not to run into anything. So I picked her up, and she snuggled up with me so sweetly for a couple of minutes. I took advantage of that because I knew it wouldn't last very long once she really opened her eyes. She mumbled that she was hungry, so I got her some cheerios. Then she got upset that she had to use the bathroom in the middle of her bowl of cereal and said, "Why do I always have to go to the bathroom in the morning!?" That was when her true morning colors started to show. She complained the whole time she was in the bathroom because she didn't want to go in alone, she didn't want to wipe, she didn't want to wash her hands, she didn't want to turn the lights out. On her way back to the kitchen she was still mumbling about something and whipped out a beautiful cartwheel. She looked at me and saw me smiling, so she gave me a pretty good scowl. Thankfully, by the time she got through breakfast she was feeling better, and we were able to get ready for preschool with no problems or complaining.

I just love them both so much. They are both wonderful in their own different ways -- well, Nikki is wonderful about 20 minutes after she wakes up. =)

I got an A!

Since my blog (well, really the readers) helped me with my paper, I thought I'd let you know that I got a 97 on my whining paper!!! Thanks so much for your help. This morning Nikki woke up early and started crying in bed. When I went in there, she just had to use the bathroom but didn't want to go in there alone in the dark. Hannah said, "I was sleeping so good. Nikki, you should have just asked." I guess maybe Hannah, at least, is listening to our parenting guidance sometimes.

Spanking

When we were growing up, my dad had this really thick leather belt, granted I'm not sure how thick it really was but to my mind as a little girl it was the thickest belt I had ever seen, and that was the belt he used when we got a spanking. JW got at least one a day, sometimes more. I probably got the least in the family, which I'm sure was just because I was the youngest, not really because I was the best behaved. Mom would use a flyswatter or a yard stick when it was time to give a spanking. She would also take a briefcase to church with her lesson materials and scriptures and things in it, but she also had this wooden dowel in there. And whenever she grabbed JW's arm and pulled him out of the meeting carrying the briefcase, we all knew he was going to get it with that dowel. I remember one time Kellee & JW told me to put a bunch of toilet paper in my pants before I went in for my spanking because that would make it not hurt so much and Dad wouldn't know. Wasn't that a mean thing to do to a little sister? Of course that made him madder, and of course they thought that was funny! I was so gullible.

In no way do I think my parents were abusive or ever let their anger get out of control. They were very loving, and one way to show a child love is to set limits for them. Spanking was the way they had been taught by their parents to enforce those limits, and I think back then even more so than now, it was the cultural norm. Is it the best way? I don't think so. Is it right? I don't think so. Have I spanked my children? Yes. I don't like doing it and don't do it very often. Whenever I do resort to that I feel like I have lost my cool and therefore am not thinking clearly enough to reason a better way to handle the situation. And looking back on it after things have cooled down, I always think there was a better choice I could have made. This is kind of an interesting debate that I've had with my brother before. He would say that it is a very effective way of catching the child's attention and they will always know that he loves them. It would be good for them to be afraid of misbehaving. I don't think that is in line with what the scriptures or the prophets have taught.

I am just loving this parenting and child guidance class that I am taking. Right now I'm studying for the midterm exam, and yesterday I was reviewing the material about different parenting styles -- coercive (yelling, arbitrary punitive punishments, spanking, belittling), permissive (few limits, not following through with any rules, always giving in, child runs the show), and authoritative (warm and loving connection, clear rules that are firmly enforced, and allowing autonomy or letting them make some of their choices). I was going back over some interesting reading material from a BYU journal called Marriage and Families that had a section on spanking that was really good. Here's a link to it. The whole article is good, but you can just scroll down to find the spanking part if you don't have much time.

There was also a video clip in the course material that I don't know how to post here, but it was of some leading child development researchers talking about the effects of spanking and some better alternatives. The last line of it said, "If you spank your children and they turn out okay, that doesn't mean you are a good parent. It just means you're lucky." I guess Mom and Dad were lucky -- even JW turned out okay.

Video of Nikki's Cartwheels

Good idea, Kellee, to catch her on film. She loved performing for the camera.

Cartwheels

Nikki just loves to do cartwheels. If it's suppertime, she'll cartwheel to the table. At bedtime, she cartwheels to her room. We have a runner in our foyer that is just the right length for her flip across, and she loves doing them there. She likes to get some momentum going in the living room and see how many she can do without pausing in between. She is really getting good. I'm sure I never could do one as good as she does. She can even do a one-handed cartwheel. Her dance teacher couldn't believe it when she saw her do that. I think she has done them so much that it's almost an automatic behavior that she doesn't realize she's doing. It's so funny to watch her sometimes. Yesterday she was crying about something I told her she couldn't have, and while she was still whining she pulled off a beautiful cartwheel right in the kitchen. When Nate started laughing at her she got upset and said, "It's not funny -- I'm crying." Nate tried to explain to her that doing cartwheels while you're crying is funny, but she didn't quite see the humor. Hannah and I did, though. The other night after her bath, she broke out in cartwheels before she got dressed. We couldn't help but laugh at that, but we certainly went to get pajamas very quickly. Today I caught her trying to cartwheel through the foyer at church in her dress. I guess we're due to have a talk about modesty. It will be interesting to see what she does with this talent in the future.

Homework assignment

Papers, papers, papers!! That's about all I'm doing for my current independent study class. I can't complain too much, though, because I've done really well on the ones I've turned in so far (much to my surprise--they've been really hard for me to do). My current assignment involves selecting an issue concerning infant or toddler care and choosing a topic within that issue to write a paper on. I'm supposed to have a few resources including interviewing parents of infants/toddlers. I'm still trying to decide what exactly I want to write on, but I've come up with a few ideas. So, if you are a parent of an infant or toddler, or have been through that phase of life, please share some thoughts with me.

• Whining -- boy could I use some tips here. What strategies have you used to help alleviate this? What parental behaviors do you think encourage or reinforce whining? Anything else you want to add about it.
• There are many studies showing the advantages of breastfeeding. Some of these are that breast milk has a more complete nutritional value than formula, increased immunity against diseases, easier digestibility, and an easier transition to solid foods. How did you decided whether to breast- or bottle-feed? If you nursed, did you notice any of these benefits or any others? What challenges did you find in breastfeeding? Any other comments or thoughts.
• Recently there has been a lot of news about toy recalls because of lead paint or dangerous magnets in the toys. How do you determine what toys will be safe and/or stimulating for your children? What criteria do you use to determine if a toy is a "good" toy for your child?

Feel free to talk about any or all three subjects. The whining probably has the most relevance to my family right now, but the breastfeeding will probably be the easiest to research, whereas the toy safety is a current topic of interest with the recent news. Maybe your responses can help me decide what to write on. Thanks for your help!

Recovery

Nate deserves an award for how well he has handled everything this weekend. He has been a fabulous nurse and just taken such good care of me. Last night we were supposed to feed the missionaries, so he cooked a fabulous roast with awesome alfredo mashed potatoes. The missionaries were very impressed that he had done everything himself -- I was too! I couldn't chew anything but his meat was really tender, so I just had some that was cut up enough to kind of slide down. Oh, it was so good! And of course, the kitchen looked great when he was finished. He gave the girls baths last night, cut the grass, and got me some movies from the library. A cute little girl at church today asked me why I married someone so tall. I do like his height, but there are so many more great things about him that make our height difference seem so unimportant.

When I came home on Friday, Nate put on Pride and Prejudice for me to watch. I just love that movie! It was the perfect timing for it, too, because the girls got bored with it and left me alone. And then I kept dozing in and out, being under the influence of anesthesia and pain medication. But since I have watched it so many times before it didn't matter if I missed a few parts of it. I think Mr. Bennett is my favorite character. He just makes me laugh. I love his responses when Mrs. Bennett is trying to tell him all about the ball where they met Mr. Bingley. "Would that he had sprained his ankle in the first dance!" And then she tries to tell him about the gowns the Ms. Bingleys were wearing and he says, "No lace! No lace, I beg of you Mrs. Bennett. No lace!" Oh, there are more I could quote, but I think that gives enough of the idea that I love that movie.

I went to church today and felt silly looking like a chipmunk. It was good to be there, though. I have felt better each day so far, and I just hope I didn't overdo it at church today. It feels like my cheeks are stuck in one position, so I felt kind of rude because when I tried to smile at someone I don't think they could tell. I think I should be alright because I was due to be able to have some more medicine a couple of hours ago, but I don't need it right now. That's nice.

Under the Knife

I think modern medicine is just amazing. I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. I went in for a consultation on Thursday, and as I was setting up the time for surgery, the receptionist said they had just had a cancellation and I could have it done the next day. Whoa! I jumped on it, though, because it meant Nate could just take off Friday, and then I could hopefully be recovered enough by Monday to make it on my own.

The worst part was getting the IV in place. I faint around needles anyway, but I thought if I wasn't looking at it I would be alright. The only thing was that she had a hard time getting it in. She fished around in my arm for a while, and then the world turned green for me. It made me think of Dad. He would always talk about how the nurses had such a terrible time finding his veins. I even remember him saying they would even try the veins in his knuckles. Ugh, I'll move on -- just thinking about it makes me feel sick. A few minutes later, I asked her what she had given me that made my hands and feet tingle. She said that it was because my heart rate had dropped so much when I almost fainted and the blood wasn't circulating quite normally yet. I don't think she really wanted to answer me. Kind of a scary thought to think that my heart stops when I faint. Just hadn't thought of that before.

I think everything else has gone really well. I woke up in the car while Nate was in CVS getting my prescriptions filled. He has gotten a chuckle or two out of the questions I kept reasking. Yesterday I couldn't sit up or walk around without feeling faint and nauseous. That's going away, although I think I will wrap this up pretty quickly and go lay back down. I'm almost done reading Dracula, and this gives me a good excuse to just veg and see how they catch him!

Cleaning day

Yesterday morning I told the girls that their job was to pick up the stuff on all the floors so that I could vacuum. They complained a little bit at first, but they did it. When I went upstairs with the vacuum I was very impressed because all of their toys are up there, and it had been a huge mess but was all cleaned up -- at least I thought it was until I opened the closet door. I couldn't believe they had stuffed a bunch of things in the closet. That's something I would have done when I was supposed to be cleaning my room! I got a good laugh and then I called Hannah upstairs. She saw what I was looking at and grinned and said, "Oops." Maybe she was hoping if she was cute enough she could get out of cleaning it up -- didn't work.